Aug 23, 2009

Dragonflies

Those of you close to me have heard my story about how I have had dragonflies all around me since Josh died. I know it is a sign from our sweet son, you may say I am crazy (maybe so?) but we cannot deny those things we experience. I see them everywhere, including dragonfly merchandise at stores.

There is a legend about Dragonflies; the story is that they appear after someone close to you has just passed. The dragonfly is said to symbolize the soul of a lost loved one and that they represent that your loved one is still near you as they live on in immortality. I am not sure why or where that legend began, but I can only share what experiences I have personally had happen to me.

I was lucky enough to capture some of them on my cell phone camera, and I've had several times where they've LANDED on me! Actually flown to me and landed on my finger!!! (Even Joe was shocked when he saw it, and took a picture) This is not a coincidence...The funny thing is that they are now my new friends! This weekend I've had the chance to hold a few, experience a dozen or so flying near me and taking them in up close. (SEE PIC's BELOW AS PROOF)

Here is the story of the dragonfly that is used to explain death to young children. I had to include it as well, since I have run across it so often recently. I also included a picture of the shed I painted while Joe was out of town last week. While I was painting I seemed to have an abundance of Dragonflies surrounding me.

The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.
Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.
Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.
When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.
So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.
Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.
But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~

The shed's new look. Taupe and Black instead of cream and tan

A large red dragonfly, this is one that kept watch over me a lot

It just flew to me and landed on my finger...
Joe had time to get his phone to take a pic for me!


Another close-up of my 'red' friend

One of the many other dragonflies that sat outside and watched

And yet another...

My little 'red' friend landed again on my finger and though
I had paint on me he didn't mind. He stayed on me for over 5 min.
I do have my lil' brother Adam and Joe as witness LOL

Aug 17, 2009

A Weekend To Remember...

Joe and I had a wonderful weekend! Zach and Sara and the boys (Mason and Carter) came to Utah for the weekend. It was so great having our kids together again. We were also able to see most of our extended family and enjoy every ones company. The weekend included going to Marc and Betty's for a wedding shower and a BBQ. An awesome massage, and a great night staying up late playing games. I'm shocked we didn't wake up Bree with our laughter. (Since she spent the night with us) The kids got to golf with their Dad and go to a late movie. A whirlwind and fun few days. Thanks for coming Zach and Sara, we sure enjoy our time together!

Our game night included eating a Harry Potter jelly bean if you lost the round. The jellybeans were flavored and you never knew if you'd get a fruit flavor or one of the disgusting jellybeans like....vomit, booger, rotten egg, skunk spray, baby wipe, moldy cheese or pencil shavings. YUK!! Trust me, I had to try most all of them thanks to my horrible luck. Yes, I was the entertainment gagging and trying to spit them out. But, I had fun regardless of the sick and nasty flavor that wouldn't go away after eating each bean when I lost. We decided that I won't be going to Vegas anytime soon since my luck sucked. Joe on the other hand won almost every round, and if he did loose...he'd get lucky and get a fruity bean instead of one of the gross ones! No fair. Maybe he should go to Vegas?!

The next day Joe and the kids went golfing for 2 rounds of 9 holes on 2 different courses. They had a ball (no pun intended). We later went to Mueller Park Canyon for a hot dog roast and more family fun. We had so much fun cooking hot dogs over the fire, and making S'mores and playing games. The kids all loved the water and just running around. Here are a few pics that showed how much fun we had. It was so nice to smile, laugh and feel the comfort of spending time with our family. Thanks everyone for making it such a great weekend! We love you and are grateful for such an awesome family! I only wish I had pics of the shower, BBQ and those that couldn't make the Canyon.

THE BEST KIDS EVER!!!
Our Children...minus our late son Joshua
(Zach, Ashley, Cory)

"FUN IN the CANYON"

Darcie being silly (My brother Darren's daughter)

My Sis-n-Law Jessie (My brother Adam's wife)
and her belly full of Gabriella. You look so cute Jessie!

Joe snuggling up to Carter (Zach and Sara's newest son) Ahhh!

My Mom and Dad (Bill and Judeen) Aren't they cute?!

Karen Denning (My other Mother) She is AWESOME!

My baby bro Adam and his wife Jessie

My brother Matt and his family
(Matt, Elllie, Emma, Samantha and Colin)

My brother Darren and his family
(Jill, Darren, Darcie and Ben)

Our son Zach and his family
(Zach, Sara, Mason and Carter)
My mother Judeen after getting one of the "Yucky" jelly beans
We had to play this game again with everyone
just for our free entertainment. HA... LOL
Mason (our oldest grandson) savoring a bite
of brownie that Ashley was sharing w/him.

Mason (Zach and Sara's son) enjoying the stream
and throwing rocks in the water.
Oh the adventure of the Mountains and Nature.
Mason LOVED it in the Canyon.

Aug 7, 2009

'30' Year Class Reunion

Wow, it is sad when you realize that you are no longer young and hip when you are attending your 30th Class Reunion of high school. (We want to think we are still somewhat cool and hip overall ) Joe and I went to high school together, however my 30th isn't until next year. (HA) It is fun to see those people you went to school with and those that you associated so much with during high school. Joe and I both went to Bountiful High School and so we both know a ton of the same friends. I still think Joe is a 'hottie' and realize that while we are aging, we don't look so bad after all! You can see why I was swept off my feet!

My "HOTTIE" husband back in the day...

He is the one that is up front and looks like Patrick Swayze! Joe and I dating in high school. We were inseparable.

So much so that we 'tied the knot' when Joe was a senior and I was a junior! Our wedding on December 20th, 1978

Jul 16, 2009

Munga's Update

It has been a while since I have updated our blog, and although many things have happened; I just haven't got around to posting anything. I thought it was time to quit being a slacker and at least post something... SO... Here are a few things that have been going in our life the last few weeks. I just wish I had more pics of some of the funny things that I didn't get a chance to capture. (photos below)
  • We had a visit to Idaho Falls to see PresLee and KayCee for KayCee's Birthday
  • We decided to do a "Make-Over" on Karen's house while she was away visiting David in Stanley Idaho. We steamed off her outdated wallpaper, tore up the carpet... painted the walls and put in wood laminate flooring, new baseboards; and updated her main bathroom.
  • We went back to California to visit Zach, Sara and the kids for the 4th of July
  • Richard and Camille had their baby on July 3rd. Welcome Cole Denning!
  • We took Mason back to Utah with us for a special visit without Mom, Dad or Baby Carter. (Mason loves to be the center of attention and absolutely loves to go to "Bucca and Munga's House". Mason was hilarious, and darn cute while he was here! A little more naughty than usual, a ton of work, but darn cute!)
  • We got robbed. Someone broke into our cars and stole my brand new GPS system. (Slime bag Thief!) It was unnerving to think that you can be so violated on top of everything else that has been going on with our family. And, they left their shoes as a souvenir which the police were very interested in. Apparently a ring of thefts has been taking place.
  • Ashley got very sick, and gave us a scare with the "Swine Flu". Luckily, we don't think it was that after all, just a really bad virus.
  • Joe returned Mason to California, and to enjoy some time with Zach golfing for his birthday coming up next week. (Joe take pics huh?!)

So...in a nutshell, our life is as chaotic as usual. We loved having Mason visit, THANK YOU Zach and Sara for sharing him with us to help distract us from our grieving. He gave us a run for our money, so next time we dubs Carter...lol. J/K. Here are some fun pics, hopefully you will enjoy them too...

PresLee visiting her Daddy and Brother for the first time. It was a very somber experience. It broke my heart to take this photo.

Mason kissing baby Carter "good-bye" before coming back to Utah for a visit. You can tell Carter wasn't as into the kiss good-bye..LOL

Baby Cole Denning born on July 3rd, 2009

Our project at Karen's while she was away. The floors and paint preview

Joe working hard at fitting the flooring

Mason enjoying a D.I. special big wheel we found. Sorry Zach, the only one there was pink.

Woo Hoo... Mason loved it and it was the best $4 spent besides the castles I bought


Um, yeah...he is playing with Castles, and farms etc.
We made a village and Mason loved it!

He was certainly excited to play with Munga making noises.
That is when he plays pretend with all the characters.

Mason also got a kick out of a fake eye-ball that lights up.
Yup, he is all boy despite the pink big wheel.

Or, the pink Castle....We had fun pretending that the Dragon
was after the people and they had to get rescued.

Jun 23, 2009

Mother's Love

To lose a child is devastating, but to lose one so suddenly and to suicide is almost unbearable. I have decided to share a poem that I wrote recently as an "Ode to Joshua". Your love, support and prayers have been so appreciated and have helped us tremendously during this difficult time. As you read this poem, I hope that love is felt and that it also floats toward heaven...

Dear Son...

You came into my life, I was only seventeen
When they laid you in my arms, so much love between
The start of a new family, a tiny baby that sealed our love
Joshua, our firstborn baby boy and gift from God above

We raised you up, before long you were a man
First there was your mission, next your wedding plan
Patiently you waited for your turn to be a Dad
Then the twins were born; a day both happy and sad

A most unbearable pain, you must have suffered deep inside
A burden you could no longer carry, or in anyone confide
Deep inside, you harbored so much emotional strife
The pain that ultimately led you, to decide to take your life

How do you I say good-bye my son, you weren't supposed to go
I still do not believe you are gone; it just can not be so
Now I face a life without my oldest son
I can not understand, because your life had just begun...

There are so many questions now, things that we will never know
Just why you chose this outcome and why you chose to go
Life will never be the same for the family you left behind
We pray that you've found your peace, both in spirit and in mind

Josh, we will forever miss you and pray our hearts can mend and heal
The sweet memories you left us are precious and now seem so surreal
Watch over us dear son, please try to keep us strong...
Help us and guide us, until we are back together...
where we all belong.

With Love...Mom

Jun 15, 2009

In Loving Memory of our Son...Joshua

We mourn the loss of our oldest son Joshua. Our family is shocked, and saddened by his sudden departure from this life. Josh wasn't himself the day he made the choice to leave. Satan uses depression and circumstances to cloud our mind, corrupting thoughts and keeping us from being the person we truly are. Those of us that were so close to him, know that the Josh we knew, wouldn't have chosen to take his life and leave us behind. However, the hidden pain he harbored caused him to ultimately chose to take his life on June 2nd, 2009.

We ask that as we are trying to heal from this devastating loss, that you all remember Josh for the man he was; not for the way he left. He was truly an amazing person that made a difference in so many people's lives.

Joshua was a warm, caring and fun person who always made you laugh. He chose to keep his pain hidden, always instead choosing to give to others, rather than himself. He knew more practical jokes than anyone; keeping you constantly on your toes for fear you might be the next victim of a prank. Josh had big dreams, he was just starting school again...had just finished his basement and just finished setting up his dream aquarium. Josh planned to live, he had so many projects and things that were recently completed or ongoing in preparation for his future. His future with his family, his dreams and his passions. Someone that wanted to die, would not have had the energy nor the ambition to do the things that Josh was doing.

We will forever remember Josh as the impressionist imitating Jim Carrey, or Scooby Doo, or Sesame Street Characters; his personality certainly made Josh the life of the party. Josh knew when you needed a shoulder, an ear to listen or somebody to help in any situation. He was a hard worker, a person with impeccable integrity and a true friend to so many. Our family could tell so many stories of the numerous times Josh made us smile and laugh.

There was no explanation to ease the pain and no chance to say good-bye...we will forever miss him and hope everyone will avoid asking, "Why", and "What If"... BUT... instead ask, "What Can I Learn From This"? We hope to be able to make a difference in other's lives and pass the test of how we handle this tragedy. Please love those close to you, don't take anything for granted and please cherish life. Until someone or something is gone, you don't realize how important it was; until you no longer have it. We as a family would ask that you seek out those that may be in need of a friend, and watch for those hidden "signs" that we all over look. If we can but save one life by making a difference, it will bring some peace to Joshua's memory.

(We've included some pictures of Joshua during his life as a tribute, most recent to newborn)



Taken on Memorial Day to visit their son Ryken's grave.
Josh is buried next to Ryken now.
Lovin' on PresLee

Showing off PresLee (his pride and joy)

Birth of the twin's Ryken Joshua and PresLee Kate

Brother's and Sister

Wedding Day: September 29th, 2001

Josh's Mission Call

Senior Pic- Davis High Class of '98

Josh as a sophmore

7th Grade

5th Birthday

3 yrs old
1 yr old
5 months old

The day we brought Josh home from hospital

We love you Josh, we will always and forever keep you in our hearts and memories until we meet again....
Mom and Dad