Joe and Steph: June 2009

Jun 23, 2009

Mother's Love

To lose a child is devastating, but to lose one so suddenly and to suicide is almost unbearable. I have decided to share a poem that I wrote recently as an "Ode to Joshua". Your love, support and prayers have been so appreciated and have helped us tremendously during this difficult time. As you read this poem, I hope that love is felt and that it also floats toward heaven...

Dear Son...

You came into my life, I was only seventeen
When they laid you in my arms, so much love between
The start of a new family, a tiny baby that sealed our love
Joshua, our firstborn baby boy and gift from God above

We raised you up, before long you were a man
First there was your mission, next your wedding plan
Patiently you waited for your turn to be a Dad
Then the twins were born; a day both happy and sad

A most unbearable pain, you must have suffered deep inside
A burden you could no longer carry, or in anyone confide
Deep inside, you harbored so much emotional strife
The pain that ultimately led you, to decide to take your life

How do you I say good-bye my son, you weren't supposed to go
I still do not believe you are gone; it just can not be so
Now I face a life without my oldest son
I can not understand, because your life had just begun...

There are so many questions now, things that we will never know
Just why you chose this outcome and why you chose to go
Life will never be the same for the family you left behind
We pray that you've found your peace, both in spirit and in mind

Josh, we will forever miss you and pray our hearts can mend and heal
The sweet memories you left us are precious and now seem so surreal
Watch over us dear son, please try to keep us strong...
Help us and guide us, until we are back together...where we all belong.

With Love...Mom

Jun 15, 2009

In Loving Memory of our Son...Joshua

We mourn the loss of our oldest son Joshua. Our family is shocked, and saddened by his sudden departure from this life. Josh wasn't himself the day he made the choice to leave. Satan uses depression and circumstances to cloud our mind, corrupting thoughts and keeping us from being the person we truly are. Those of us that were so close to him, know that the Josh we knew, wouldn't have chosen to take his life and leave us behind. However, the hidden pain he harbored caused him to ultimately chose to take his life on June 2nd, 2009.

We ask that as we are trying to heal from this devastating loss, that you all remember Josh for the man he was; not for the way he left. He was truly an amazing person that made a difference in so many people's lives.

Joshua was a warm, caring and fun person who always made you laugh. He chose to keep his pain hidden, always instead choosing to give to others, rather than himself. He knew more practical jokes than anyone; keeping you constantly on your toes for fear you might be the next victim of a prank. Josh had big dreams, he was just starting school again...had just finished his basement and just finished setting up his dream aquarium. Josh planned to live, he had so many projects and things that were recently completed or ongoing in preparation for his future. His future with his family, his dreams and his passions. Someone that wanted to die, would not have had the energy nor the ambition to do the things that Josh was doing.

We will forever remember Josh as the impressionist imitating Jim Carrey, or Scooby Doo, or Sesame Street Characters; his personality certainly made Josh the life of the party. Josh knew when you needed a shoulder, an ear to listen or somebody to help in any situation. He was a hard worker, a person with impeccable integrity and a true friend to so many. Our family could tell so many stories of the numerous times Josh made us smile and laugh.

There was no explanation to ease the pain and no chance to say good-bye...we will forever miss him and hope everyone will avoid asking, "Why", and "What If"... BUT... instead ask, "What Can I Learn From This"? We hope to be able to make a difference in other's lives and pass the test of how we handle this tragedy. Please love those close to you, don't take anything for granted and please cherish life. Until someone or something is gone, you don't realize how important it was; until you no longer have it. We as a family would ask that you seek out those that may be in need of a friend, and watch for those hidden "signs" that we all over look. If we can but save one life by making a difference, it will bring some peace to Joshua's memory.

(We've included some pictures of Joshua during his life as a tribute, most recent to newborn)

Taken on Memorial Day to visit their son Ryken's grave.