To lose a child is devastating, but to lose one so suddenly and to suicide is almost unbearable. I have decided to share a poem that I wrote recently as an "Ode to Joshua". Your love, support and prayers have been so appreciated and have helped us tremendously during this difficult time. As you read this poem, I hope that love is felt and that it also floats toward heaven...
Dear Son...
Dear Son...
You came into my life, I was only seventeen
When they laid you in my arms, so much love between
The start of a new family, a tiny baby that sealed our love
Joshua, our firstborn baby boy and gift from God above
We raised you up, before long you were a man
First there was your mission, next your wedding plan
Patiently you waited for your turn to be a Dad
Then the twins were born; a day both happy and sad
A most unbearable pain, you must have suffered deep inside
A burden you could no longer carry, or in anyone confide
Deep inside, you harbored so much emotional strife
The pain that ultimately led you, to decide to take your life
How do you I say good-bye my son, you weren't supposed to go
I still do not believe you are gone; it just can not be so
Now I face a life without my oldest son
I can not understand, because your life had just begun...
There are so many questions now, things that we will never know
Just why you chose this outcome and why you chose to go
Life will never be the same for the family you left behind
We pray that you've found your peace, both in spirit and in mind
Josh, we will forever miss you and pray our hearts can mend and heal
The sweet memories you left us are precious and now seem so surreal
Watch over us dear son, please try to keep us strong...
Help us and guide us, until we are back together...where we all belong.
With Love...Mom
When they laid you in my arms, so much love between
The start of a new family, a tiny baby that sealed our love
Joshua, our firstborn baby boy and gift from God above
We raised you up, before long you were a man
First there was your mission, next your wedding plan
Patiently you waited for your turn to be a Dad
Then the twins were born; a day both happy and sad
A most unbearable pain, you must have suffered deep inside
A burden you could no longer carry, or in anyone confide
Deep inside, you harbored so much emotional strife
The pain that ultimately led you, to decide to take your life
How do you I say good-bye my son, you weren't supposed to go
I still do not believe you are gone; it just can not be so
Now I face a life without my oldest son
I can not understand, because your life had just begun...
There are so many questions now, things that we will never know
Just why you chose this outcome and why you chose to go
Life will never be the same for the family you left behind
We pray that you've found your peace, both in spirit and in mind
Josh, we will forever miss you and pray our hearts can mend and heal
The sweet memories you left us are precious and now seem so surreal
Watch over us dear son, please try to keep us strong...
Help us and guide us, until we are back together...where we all belong.
With Love...Mom
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6 comments:
Mom,
You should have put a disclamer at the top saying, "Do not read at work." :) You wrote it so beautifully, and it is such a fitting rememberance. I know that Josh could hear the words as they came out of you. Thank you for sharing it. I Love you.
Zach
I can only imagine what you are going through right now and I wish so badly that you were not. This poem was beautiful and I know that Josh can feel your love and I know that he will be watching over you and will be with you always. I love you and Joe so much, know that we are always here for you guys!
Love, Sara
The poem is Beautiful, I'm happy for you to be able to write and share those sweet words with all of us!
I just happened upon your blog...
Your beautiful poem says it all.
Yet, our hearts hurt for you and your family.
You will all be in our prayers as you are challenged with the road ahead. Bless you---and may you find the PEACE that surpaseth all understanding. Dee and DeAnna Packer
That was a great poem, I am glad that I was able to read you great words, you have always had the talent to write such beautiful words. Love you sis,
Adam
Beautiful and heartfelt...I feel with you and my prayers are with you. We just got home from China and back to "reality." It feels like we never left. I will call you when I'm in town. Love you.
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